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We Protest the Robot Occupation

from Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off by Kari Maaren

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about

If the robots ever occupy Vancouver, they may run into problems.

I grew up in Vancouver, and I do want to go back there, so no, I'm not mocking it. Or, well, maybe I am, but it's an affectionate mockery. It can even be seen as applying to all Canadians, or possibly all human beings. It's a very broad sort of affectionate mockery.

lyrics

We Protest the Robot Occupation

Last Thursday, I was having coffee at a coffee shop
When the explosions started tearing up the street.
Now I've joined the resistance formed of several desperate human stragglers
Clinging to dim hope amidst defeat.
The robots hunt us down, and then they kill us one by one
Or haul us off to slavery and pain,
And since this is all happening in the suburbs of Vancouver,
For the most part, it is happening in the rain.

The human revolution's got off to what I suppose
Will prove to be a very useful kind of start.
We've had a few committee meetings in an empty Save-On Foods,
And everybody's shown a lot of heart.
We're making signs and placards, and we've started a petition;
We've got almost twenty signatures so far.
We'll send a forceful message to our robot lords and masters:
They will tremble at how organised we are.

We protest the robot occupation.
We don't like being human slaves.
Please stop if you don't mind, for we're afraid that we all find
That we would rather not be rotting in our graves.

Though we can't trust computers, elevators, cars, or phones,
We have decided we won't let it get us down.
We're carefully hand-lettering the pamphlets that we plan to give to
All the killer robots left in town.
We think that if we show them that we're sticking to our guns
And that we are determined to survive,
They'll have to form committees of their own so they can figure out
If they should leave a few of us alive.

We protest the robot occupation.
We don't like being human slaves.
Please stop if you don't mind, for we're afraid that we all find
That we would rather not be rotting in our graves.

We know our situation isn't optimal, but we
Are not intending to give in without a fight.
As long as we have people left to handle our opinion polls,
We're pretty sure we're going to be all right.
If we all band together and we make our voices heard,
We'll overcome the robots with sheer will.
We'll baffle and confuse them with the power of our arguments,
With luck before there's no one left to kill.

We protest the robot occupation.
We don't like being human slaves.
Please stop if you don't mind, for we're afraid that we all find
That we would rather not be rotting in our graves.

We protest the robot occupation.
We don't like being human slaves.
Please stop if you don't mind, for we're afraid that we all find
That we would rather not be rotting in our graves.

credits

from Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off, released April 30, 2013
Written and performed by Kari Maaren.

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Kari Maaren Toronto, Ontario

Kari Maaren is a Toronto musician who plays geeky ukulele songs about monsters and superheroes. She isn't sure why, but it amuses her, so that's all right.

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