I'm Under Your Bed

from Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off by Kari Maaren

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The monster under your bed is very, very, VERY pleased with itself...just so you know.

I wrote this song fully intending to frighten small children with it. The first time I sang it to actual children, I watched their eyes get bigger and bigger as the song progressed. Actually, some adults are a bit taken aback by it. Bwa ha ha haaaaa.


I'm Under Your Bed

Night dark,
No moon.
Quiet street,
No lights.
Sleepy house.
Bedtime soon.
I'm good
At nights.

Mum reads.
Then a kiss.
You believe
What she said.
Lights off.
You miss
That I'm
Under your bed.

Little yawns.
Little sighs.
Snuggle in
Real deep.
Open mouth;
Close eyes.
Go to sleep.

Have sweet
Gentle dreams.
Feel safe,
No dread.
How peaceful
It seems...
But I'm
Under your bed.

I lurk in the darkness; no one ever dusts down here.
You think that you checked, but I hid behind the soccer ball.
I liked that I smelled your fear.
As the night wears on, I'll crawl up onto your pillow
And lick your ear.
Perhaps I'll take a bite instead.
You can't be sure I'm still under your bed.

Nice room.
Good toys.
Mum and Dad
Next door.
It always
Them when you
Jump across the floor

So that
I won't
Be easily
They don't
That I'm
Under your bed.

And you're
By what
They say.
They've half-convinced you
That I'm
Just a story

That's great
For me.
You sleep
And only
I'm sure
That I'm
Under your bed.

The shadows are thick on your harmless hardwood floor.
So you never know exactly what's down there.
Why don't you check once more?
Once you fall asleep, the room belongs to me.
I've a lot in store.
I bet you've got a tasty head.
It's cute you think I'd stay under the bed.

You're safe
And warm
On the verge
Of sleep.
You know nothing
Can harm
You. That's my
Cue to creep

Out of
My den
And up your
I do good work
I'm on top
Of your bed.

Night dark,
No moon.
Quiet street,
No lights.
Sleepy house.
Midnight soon.
I'm good
At nights.

But don't
Worry so;
I don't
Want you dead.
It's enough
That you know
That I'm
Under your bed.

Admit it:
You know
That I'm
Under your bed.


from Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off, released April 30, 2013
Written and performed by Kari Maaren.


all rights reserved



Kari Maaren Toronto, Ontario

Kari Maaren is a Toronto musician who plays geeky ukulele songs about monsters and superheroes. She isn't sure why, but it amuses her, so that's all right.

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