I Put My Trenchcoat On

from by Kari Maaren

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1 CAD  or more

     

about

When a private dick used to beating the mean streets of a hopeless city is sucked unexpectedly forward in time, he decides to continue on as usual. It may not work out as well as he might like.

This song came about because I was specifically asked for "something noir." However, it was "something noir" for a sci-fi/fantasy/horror reading series, so there had to be some time travel in there too, obviously. Note for Americans and, well, anyone who is not Canadian: a "mickey" is probably not what you think it is; in Canada, it's a 375 ml. (13 oz.) bottle of liquor. This is not to be confused with a "Texas mickey," a giant 3 litre (101 oz.) bottle of liquor that is supposedly obtainable from Canadian liquor stores. Up here, that is how we roll.

lyrics

I Put My Trenchcoat On

Woke up one morning,
Down on my luck,
Whisky my only friend,
And I hadn’t got a dime.
Fate had me in her sights,
And I was a sitting duck.
That was when I found
The portal through time.

If you can believe it
In the blink of an eye
The world went strange.
It’s hard to understand.
I can’t accept that sixty
Years have gone by.
It’s as if I’m travelling
In a foreign land.

But since I am stuck here,
I may as well try
To fit in,
So I’ve set up a room,
Advertised my services
As a P.I.
I don’t know why the office
Is still empty as a tomb.

I put my trenchcoat on,
Slip a mickey in my pocket,
Straighten my fedora,
Go out into the night.
I wish that somebody
Would tell me what an iPhone
Is. It doesn’t matter.
I’ll be all right
With my trenchcoat on.

I am a gumshoe;
It’s all that I know,
Beating the grimy streets
For clue after clue,
Drunk on despair,
Knowing there are no
Easy answers in anything
I do.

I’m fine with forensics,
But you gotta see
There’s a line.
What’s the deal with DNA?
All of this procedure
Is stifling me.
I wanna shoot a crook; that’s
Just the better way.

I put my trenchcoat on,
Slip a mickey in my pocket,
Straighten my fedora,
Go out into the night.
I wish that somebody
Would tell me what an iPhone
Is. It doesn’t matter.
I’ll be all right
With my trenchcoat on.

Just yesterday night, I tried to get back in the game:
Went out to a boozy joint to score me a dame.
I still don’t know
What “sexual harrassment” might mean.
If my cases can’t come from some woman named “Trouble,”
Then where will I get them? And where is the rubble?
The city’s disturbingly bright and way too clean.

I sit in my office,
Watch the light leak
Through the half-closed blinds;
There’s nowhere I can go.
I don’t know how to cope,
And it’s only been a week.
No one in this time needs
The things that I know.

I guess it’s ironic,
‘Cause not fitting in
Is my thing,
And now I’m even more outside,
Watching from the margins,
Drowning in gin.
My cynicism’s rising
On an alcoholic tide.

I put my trenchcoat on,
Slip a mickey in my pocket,
Straighten my fedora,
Go out into the night.
I wish that somebody
Would tell me what an iPhone
Is. It doesn’t matter.
I’ll be all right
With my trenchcoat on.

I put my trenchcoat on,
Slip a mickey in my pocket,
Straighten my fedora,
Go out into the night.
I wish that somebody
Would tell me what an iPhone
Is. It doesn’t matter.
I’ll be all right
With my trenchcoat on.

credits

from Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off, released April 30, 2013
Written and performed by Kari Maaren.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Kari Maaren Toronto, Ontario

Kari Maaren is a Toronto musician who plays geeky ukulele songs about monsters and superheroes. She isn't sure why, but it amuses her, so that's all right.

contact / help

Contact Kari Maaren

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code