This was the first of the songs on this album I wrote (for Christmas of 2011). And yes, it's about that eternally appropriate Christmas subject: zombies.
I seem to have given the song a new title on the physical CD, alas; I told the cover designer it was "A Lonely Christmas Out There," and he faithfully reproduced the incorrect title. Ah well. Clearly, my brain was under the mistaken impression that "there" rhymed with "fear." My brain may need to be eaten.
lyrics
A Lonely Christmas Out Here
It’s near six o’clock now on Christmas, and you’re
Just beginning to carve up the meat.
Watching you, we find ourselves longing for
Mirth and acceptance and something to eat.
But the doors are shut fast; we are banned from the hall.
It’s hard to just take it in stride.
Being a zombie is no fun at all
When everyone’s staying inside.
And we all shrink away from the light,
And dream of you running out into the night,
And giving in suddenly without a fight
As we feast on your pain and fear.
It’s a lonely Christmas out here.
The zombie apocalypse is lots of fun,
All gore and indelible stains.
We do so enjoy having you on the run
And savour the screams as we dine on your brains.
But it’s different tonight; not a one of you’s tried
To shoot us or hack us in two.
So now, for the very first time since we died,
You’ve left us with nothing to do.
And we all shrink away from the light,
And dream of you running out into the night,
And giving in suddenly without a fight
As we feast on your pain and fear.
It’s a lonely Christmas out here.
Brains, brains, dreaming of brains,
Dreaming of scheming to break down your door.
Ding, dong, unnaturally strong,
We find that we’re missing you more...and more...
[Bridge, which may or may not be a cheeky version of "Silent Night"]
The night’s wearing on, and the streets are still stark-
-ly empty of all but the dead.
It’s strange to feel wistfully lost in the dark;
We generally just tear your limbs off instead.
But this night is a special one, and we regret
You can’t share it with us. You know,
We may be monsters, but you’ll join us yet;
We’re aware that you’ve nowhere to go.
Soon you’ll all shrink away from the light,
And dream of them running out into the night,
And giving in suddenly without a fight
As you feast on their pain and fear.
It’s a lonely Christmas out here.
And we all shrink away from the light,
And dream of you running out into the night,
And giving in suddenly without a fight
As we feast on your pain and fear.
It’s a lonely Christmas out here.
Kari Maaren is a Toronto musician who plays geeky ukulele songs about monsters and superheroes. She isn't sure why, but it amuses her, so that's all right.
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